Thomas David Wright

How to draw anything (in 1 step)

OK, haven’t posted in a while, but I laughed at this and Aviary have some great apps…

How to draw anything (in 1 step)

Wonka: A Recut Trailer

This needs no introduction…

Nor does it need a conclusion.

I hope you enjoyed it,

Tom x

The marvellous masturbation metaphor generator!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is with great pleasure that I post the next link… Please put your sticky hands together for the one, the only, the marvellous masturbation metaphor generator!

I found this little gem on the b3ta links board, so many thanks to flatfrog for making and sharing this wonderful device. All hail flatfrog!

Feel free to post any that tickle you in the comments.

Tom x

Robots will eat your (elderly) loved ones!

Thanks to Curious Cat for warning me of the latest tactic of the evil robot insurgency - penetration of the homes of our elderly relatives. Disgusting isn’t it?

Sure, they look pretty useful, but what’s in it for them? We know the robot scum better than that! Whilst neither Curious Cat nor myself can offer an explanation, I’ll hazard a couple of guesses… Maybe they’re going to hypnotize the growing ranks of the elderly and use their (copious) free time to build more nefarious machines! Or maybe they’ll wait until grandma’s asleep and use their mind-harvesters to gain the wisdom that only age can bring…

Whatever they’ve got planned, you can bet your meaty buns it won’t be nice. Take my advice, keep your elderly relatives locked away. Perhaps under the stairs.

Be safe,

Tom x

“They are Taking The Hobbits To Isengard”

Tonight I was going to post something intelligent and insightful. Then I got around to start writing something and it was 1:30am. So then I lowered my ambitions, but I’m still sorry about this…

I can still remember the day my dad took me on his knee and told me an important life lesson:

“Son, there will be times when you find a mildly amusing remix of a cult film. It might be Starwars, ST:NG or even an advert about loving horses best of all the animals. Just remember, it’s OK to watch these, and maybe have a little chortle to yourself. But son, don’t ever repost these videos on your blog - it’s just not cool.”

Bear in mind, boys and girls, that this was ca. 1991, a time when the internet was something I had no concept of, when speed was measured in kbps (if at all) and when YouTube was just a IP lawyer’s wet-dream. With all that in mind, I’d like you all to take a moment to reflect on quite how astute and ahead-of-the-curve my dear Papa’s advice had been. Good work Pa, but 17 years later I’ve decided to ignore you.

Please forgive me,

Tom x

Science demonstrates the correct orientation of toilet roll.

Image by ashoooo.

Science is your friend kids, your cool, slightly older, friend. Like the one that introduced you to crack.

Anyway it turns out that science has finally done something useful for us - science has shown us empirically (and with diagrams!) how best to arrange our toilet roll on the holder.

Yup, hang-over is not only more convenient than dangle-under, but that the dangle approach can pose serious threats to you, the environment and the people you love. Pay heed.

Tom x

A really big bakewell

Image by didbygraham and I’d really recommend clicking for biggerer.

So it’s been a while since I last posted on here. This is chiefly because I’ve been dashing around filming kids and trying to find a fourth housemate. I’d like to point out that the two are not related…

Anyway, I wanted to share some happiness. Like the title of this post would imply, the happiness today will take the form of a really big bakewell tart. Yay!

To appreciate the true magnificence of Mr Pineapples achievement, one must look past the obvious fact (that it isn’t really a bakewell tart at all) and focus on the sheer ingenuity and determination that one man can possess.

Hats off to the man that didn’t give up when he couldn’t find a giant cherry. Hurrah!

Tom X

As an interesting sidenote, our man Mr Pineapple states that he may drink the vanilla flavouring to make up for not remembering to include it in the cake mix. May I take the opportunity to advise you all that “Vanilla Extract” is commonly made from petrol byproducts and (regardless of its origin) can do nasty things to you in high concentrations. </warning>

Assorted notices for the discerning gentleman

Hey all,

Meant to do a proper post today, but got bogged down in a new challenge I’ve set myself. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see what I’ve been up to, but rest assured - I’m very excited about it! =)

Since the above isn’t really all that substantive, I’m going to take the chance to splurge some of the smaller bits and pieces that have been fluffing up my brain lately…

Firstly - I showed this to Pete earlier and he asked why I’d never posted about it…

• Type “telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl” into bash, dos or whatever you call your command line
• Sit back and relax
• Profit?

It’s seriously geeky, but also incredibly amazing.

The other thing was this:

Which is also very geeky, and which I also highly enjoyed.

I’ll get my coat…

Beware the unsupported knorks

Today I thought I’d share some unabashed childishness.

Behold: The wobbly boob simulator.

It’s NSFW, but otherwise oddly enjoyable. A bit like an organic lava lamp…

To redeem myself from perversion, I’d like to encourage you all to donate to Cancer Research UK.

Have a lovely Sunday evening,

Tom

I, for one, do not welcome our musical robot overlords

As a continuation of our coverage of the impending invasion (Football and BigDog) of mechanical nightmares, allow me to present the Trons:

Just like their football playing chums, they aim to ingratiate themselves by learning our customs and pastimes. We must be resilient! We cannot allow these usurpers of earth to win our hearts, for as soon as we do, they’ll whip out their neurotoxin spikes and jab us into excruciating eternity!

I suggest you learn more (so as to better prepare yourselves) by visiting The Trons myspace page.

Over and out,

Tom x